( hello friends
idk i could make some long heartfelt journal about all this but my emotions are literally all over the place rn and i dunno how i feel
someone who i'll honestly say i looked up to and thought of as a friend ended up not being real
i know everyone else is pissed off about this but honestly i don't think i'm that mad. i want an apology for it but otherwise i just? after a while i stopped feeling anything about all the colin/katie drama, it feels like theres a huge void where all of the feelings used to be
and like, idk how to get over this, i just feel very hollow and empty about it, and i think a big part of why i just dont have the energy to draw as much is bc of all of this happening. after colin cut things off with me the first time i went into even worse of a depression than i already was in, and when he apologised to me months later it didn't seem to fix anything. i haven't even gotten an apology for him not being real yet
and, idk... i'm sorry this journal is sad
when i found out colin wasn't real yesterday part of me honestly felt relieved, literally as if an entire chapter of my life was closed finally, but now i just feel kind of sad
despite all the drama, i have so many good memories with this person that didn't even exist, talking to him honestly made me so happy at one point in time because i thought he was cool and his ocs were cool but now its just like, all those memories feel so distant and im having a hard time recognising that all of that happened and wasn't just a dream or something. like im going to admit right here that at one point in time before all the drama happened, i had a crush on colin. i had literal dreams about this person bc he made such a huge impact on me, i got really excited about the prospect of meeting this person irl because i looked up to him so much and i became ridiculously attached to him to the point that for the months we weren't in contact, part of why i was depressed was because i thought he hated me, and then after all of this he just... ended up not being real.
and it kinda just feels like i lost someone today, personally
r.i.p. colin )
ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
oh god why
I'M STILL GETTING WATCHES AND STUFF ON THIS ACCOUNT
GUYS I MOVED
i still check here for some reason but all art will be posted to my new account
milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts)
~milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts) :iconmilquetoasts: :iconmilquetoasts: :iconmilquetoasts: :iconmilquetoasts: :iconmilquetoasts: :iconmilquetoasts:
[ GoneOutside: moving accounts [EDIT] ]
ya
i wanna be low key for a bit while i organize shit, though, so note me or leave a comment if you want my new username and i'll note you with it
edit
slam dunks this here
my new account is milquetoasts (https://www.deviantart.com/milquetoasts)
i may or may not post here ever again
i like this account a lot but idk. i feel like there's a lot of stuff associated with it/me that i want to get away from at least for a while
i really miss doing asks but no one ever sends them in anymore either :/
and i feel awkward posting art of characters unrelated to this account because most people are only interested in alaska/sam
but idk. i'll still draw sam and post him on my new accoun
[ crying internally ]
( my core membership only has a month left
i knew ye well
p.s. drawing is hard and i am tired )
[ GoneOutside: pleas help me eat, very important ]
so long story short
my dad won't buy me food so i have basically nothing to eat at my house besides pasta
(and i actually really do have nothing to drink, water makes me gag for some reason so i can't really drink it)
& so i've only been eating about 2 times a day and only drinking anything once a day and i'm losing weight really fast,, (which is bad for obvious reasons)
so, like, i will draw u so many things if u buy me food, anything is appreciated
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Even if you can't buy anything, if you can promo this journal please do ;___;
© 2015 - 2024 Alaskaaaa
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just gonna *scoot over and hugs you tightly*)